Ceremony Guide
Your ceremony is the heart of your big day, and crafting a meaningful and seamless experience requires thoughtful planning. This guide will help you and your officiant design a ceremony that reflects your love story and ensures everything flows smoothly.
Couple’s Guide to Planning Your Ceremony
Officiant’s Guide to Planning the Ceremony
Ceremony Structure Overview
How to Personalize your Ceremony
Common Pitfalls & How to Avoid Them
Sample Script
Rehearsal Checklist
Couples Guide to Planning Your Ceremony
The wedding ceremony is likely the most significant part of your wedding day and creating a ceremony experience that feels like it represents you, will set the tone for your wedding day and your marriage. Before you begin writing your ceremony script and vows we recommend you sit down with your partner and discuss these key questions. These questions can be shared with your officiant, your wedding planner and your families in order for them to support you and guide you through the ceremony experience.
While all weddings follow a general format—processional, readings, vows, exchange of rings, pronouncement, first kiss, and recessional—customizing elements like the readings, verbiage, and unity rituals can make your ceremony feel truly unique. Today’s couples are redefining wedding traditions, creating experiences that reflect their personalities rather than simply following what past generations have done.
What tone do you want? - Do you envision a romantic, formal, spiritual, lighthearted, or deeply personal ceremony? To personalize the tone of the ceremony, consider your relationship, what brought you together, what keeps you together, the tone in which you share your love, and the tone in which you share your love with your friends and family. Bringing those elements into the tone of the ceremony will make it feel genuine and intimate.
Who do you want involved? - Will you have friends or family do readings, singing, or participate in a unity ritual? We recommend considering those who have played a significant role in your relationship such as those who may have introduced you, those who have supported you and spent time with you as a couple, and those who have a deep understanding of your relationship.
What traditions or cultural elements matter to you? - Consider religious, family, or personal traditions you’d like to incorporate. We recommend staying away from trends and making sure that all the elements you bring into your ceremony feel truly significant and personal to you as a couple.
What is important to you? - Is it the vows, the music, the readings, or a special ritual that holds deep meaning?
How long do you want it to be? - Most ceremonies last 20-30 minutes. Decide what feels right for you and your guests.
What role do you want your officiant to play? Do you want them to be formal and traditional, or warm and personal?
Applications are accepted within 60 days of your wedding.
2. Officiant’s Guide to Planning the Ceremony
Officiating a wedding ceremony is an exciting and meaningful task, especially when you have the honor of officiating for friends. Whether you’re a seasoned officiant or stepping into this role for the first time, understanding the key components of a wedding ceremony will help ensure that your delivery is both personal and impactful.
As an officiant, your primary responsibility is to facilitate the marriage ceremony in a way that honors the couple’s wishes while adhering to any legal requirements. This involves not only delivering the vows but also setting the tone for the event, engaging with guests, and creating an atmosphere of love and celebration. It’s important to remember that each couple has their own vision for their special day, so communication is key.
Before you begin writing, it’s crucial to sit down with the couple to discuss their preferences. Ask them about their love story, what elements they want included in their ceremony (such as readings, rituals, or music), and any specific themes or tones they envision. This conversation will serve as your foundation for crafting a personalized script that resonates with both them and their guests.
Develop a deep understanding of the couple’s love story.
Discuss the couple’s key questions together (listed above).
Consider the structure of the ceremony, the order, and what elements the couple would like to include.
Review the order of the vows and the order of the ring exchange.
Discuss the wording of the kiss and the pronouncement.
Review the wedding party and family involvement, and what roles each will play.
Ask the couple whether it is important to them to review the entirety of the ceremony script prior to the ceremony or if they prefer elements of surprise on the day.
The marriage license requires signatures of the officiant, the couple and two witnesses. Discuss who those witnesses will be and where you will be signing the marriage license after the ceremony.
Determine who will be responsible for mailing the signed marriage license after the wedding day.
Get ordained with the Universal Life Church. The process is quick and free.
3. Ceremony Structure Overview
While every wedding is unique, most ceremonies follow a general structure. You can customize it to suit your style, traditions, and personal preferences. If you wish to include traditional, religious or cultural elements in your ceremony you may want to refer to other resources to make sure the structure represents those elements and you have a deeper understanding of the meaning and symbolism of each element.
Processional – The entrance of the wedding party and couple.
Invocation/Welcome – The officiant sets the tone and welcomes guests.
Readings or Reflections – Selected passages, poetry, or religious texts.
Exchange of Vows & Declaration of Intent – Personal or traditional promises.
Exchange of Rings – A symbolic gesture of commitment.
Unity Ritual (optional) – A special ceremony, such as a candle lighting or sand blending.
Pronouncement – The officiant declares you married!
Recessional – The joyful exit as a married couple.
4. How to Personalize your Ceremony
Write Personal Vows – Speak from the heart and share your love story.
Share Your Love Story - Ask your officiant to share elements of your love story in the welcome statement.
Include Cultural or Religious Traditions – Honor your heritage.
Select Meaningful Readings – Poetry, song lyrics, or spiritual passages.
Incorporate a Unity Ritual – Symbolize your bond.
Personalize the Music Choices – Choose songs that reflect your journey.
5. Common Pitfalls & How to Avoid Them
Feeling Confident & Prepared - We always recommend scheduling a ceremony rehearsal to help you and others involved in the ceremony feel confident and prepared.
Rushed Timing - Keep the ceremony between 20-30 minutes from the processional to the exit for guest engagement.
Audio & Music - Ensure your audio coordinator, musician or DJ has the proper version of your ceremony songs by sending them YouTube or Spotify links to your requested music. And always ensure a proper sound check is performed before the ceremony.
Standing & Seating Order - Make sure your family and/or wedding party has clear instructions on where they will be standing or seated.
Unclear Cues – Plan clear signals for the wedding party and officiant.
Weather Concerns – Have a backup plan for outdoor weddings.
6. Sample Script
We recommend personalizing your ceremony script - you may choose to use the following script for inspiration. If you need further support building your ceremony script there are other resources such as Provenance that can support you through the process.
Welcome Statement:
Officiant:
Welcome, friends & family, please be seated.
We gather here today to celebrate the union of [Person A] and [Person B] in marriage. On behalf of [Person A] and [Person B], I thank you for being here on this joyous occasion. Your presence today is a testament to the love and support you offer to this couple as they begin their new life together.
Marriage is more than a simple exchange of rings or a merging of tangible assets. Rather, it is an indescribably powerful shared commitment. It is a promise to always be kind, to always be faithful, and to lift each other up. In marriage, you create a bond that is both strong enough to withstand life’s adversities and flexible enough to allow each partner to grow as an individual.
[Insert an element here to personalize your ceremony, such as a short summary of your love story, what today means to you, etc.]
Readings & Reflections:
Officiant:
[Introduce the reader and the reading]
Reader:
[Recite reading, reflection, or poem]
Declaration of Intent:
Officiant:
Person A and Person B, today we have come together to celebrate the love you have found in each other. By being here with you, each of us is declaring our support for your decision to join together in marriage.
As families and friends, you are the community of support that surrounds Person A and Person B. Each of you, by your presence here today, is being called upon to uphold them in honoring and loving each other.
Always stand beside them, never between them. Offer them only love and support, not your judgment. Encourage them with your kindness and loving hearts, and honor this marriage into which they have come to be joined today.
Vows:
Officiant:
Person A and Person B, as you exchange your vows today, know that they serve as a verbal expression of the love you have promised to each other. No other human ties are as tender, no other vows more sacred, than those you will now exchange.
[Person A/Person B reads personal vows]
[Person A/Person B reads personal vows]
Officiant:
Now please repeat after me the words of your marital commitment, one to the other.
Person A & Person B declare vows repeating after the officiant:
From this day onward, I choose you Person A/Person B to be my partner.
To live together and laugh together
To work by your side and dream in your arms
To fill your heart and feed your soul
To always seek out the best in you
Always loving you with all my heart
Until the end of our forever.
Officiant:
It is not the words that you have spoken today that unite you together as one, but the profound sense of love and commitment that you feel for each other. Take care to remember these words and the love that inspired them through all your years together as partners.
Ring Exchange:
Officiant:
The ring is an ancient symbol, so perfect and simple. It has no beginning and has no end. It is round like the sun, like the moon, like the eye, like arms that embrace. It is a circle; for love that is given comes back round again.
Your rings are precious because you wear them with love. They symbolize your commitment in marriage. They remind you of who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going. As you wear them through time, they will reflect not only who you are as individuals, but also who you are as a couple.
May these rings remind you that your love, like the sun, warms all that it touches. Like the moon, brightens up the night. Like the eye, is a gateway to your innermost soul. And your love, like the arms that embrace you, makes everything right with the world.
Person A & Person B repeat after the officiant while placing the rings on each other’s ring finger:
With this ring
I give you my promise to honor you,
to be faithful to you
and to share my love and my life with you,
in all ways,
always.
The Pronouncement:
Officiant:
You have opened your hearts to one another, declared your love and friendship. In the beloved company of family and friends you have united yourselves with the exchanging of rings as enduring symbols of your marriage.
The Kiss:
Officiant:
With your vows spoken and the rings exchanged, it now gives me great pleasure to pronounce you_____________________. You may now seal your vows with a kiss.
7. Rehearsal Checklist
Ceremony Highlights - Run through the ceremony highlights with your officiant to ensure you understand the order of the script, the pace, and any transitions such as readers, order of the vows and the ring exchange.
Standing Order - Provide clear instructions to your wedding party as to where they will be standing, the correct way to hold their hands, or bouquets and who will be assisting with the bouquet hand-off, fixing the dress change, holding the rings, etc.
Seating Arrangements - Provide clear instructions for anyone who will have reserved seating in the front rows.
Processional - Practice how the couple and the wedding line up prior to the processional, and well as the pace and the spacing of the ceremony entrance.
Ceremony Recessional - Provide instructions for the ceremony exit order and pacing.